if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The air was thick with penises
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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