maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
