its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
