I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
