Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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