I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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