Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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