I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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