Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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