Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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