party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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