3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
