Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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