So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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