Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
