fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We need a shit load of segways right now
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize