Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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