Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
