It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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