Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize