I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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