I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
