He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
