I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
