great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
