so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
