You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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