I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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