Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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