nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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