so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
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When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken