Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
FUCK WHALES
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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