mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
