ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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