You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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