Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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