He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
