Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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