if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
