i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
