But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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