I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
