I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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