Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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