You really coming over, don't trick.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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