i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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