Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
