the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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