YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
