Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
