Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
