You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
