Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
