I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
