Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
