so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
