I didn't shave. On purpose
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize