Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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