Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
