Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
