I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
His nipple licking is glorious
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