i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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