There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
