I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
