I can text with my tongue
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
