She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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