Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
