For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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