AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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