i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize