Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
