My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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