i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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