how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
